Concrete
existance in a material or physical form; not abstract.
We started out young, lookin’ for some identity
Made a thousand mistakes, but never did we lack chemistry
-Kendrick Lamar
Concrete Rose
The Rose That Grew From Concrete is a poem about defying expectations and overcoming adversity written by Tupac Shakur. Over the millennia roses have been admired as symbols of passion, desire, and love. A concrete rose is a special kind of rose, one that can grow in non-ideal conditions like the neglected soil beneath a slab of concrete. By doing so, it defies the odds with its ability to not only just survive, but thrive in an environment not setup for its success. Adversity is a fundamental human experience that we all share. Not knowing how to navigate it effectively is a precursor to a life of lost potential and a concrete rose that wilts or even worse, never grows. Inside of each and every one of us a concrete rose desires to be expressed and no matter where you are on your journey, there’s still time for it to be nurtured and flourish.
I was born and raised in Portland, Oregon, also know as the Rose City. Long admired for its beautiful rose gardens, ample amounts of greenery, like the huge Douglas Fir Christmas trees littered across the landscape, and the vast mountain ranges off in the distance like the Cascades that paint the horizon. These attributes could whet even the most non-outdoorsy person’s visual appetite, but not mine.
For as long as I can remember I’ve always been drawn to things more concrete-like. Central business districts, tall buildings, brutalist designs, diverse architectures, and the hustle & bustle of urban downtown areas in the places that I’ve lived and traveled have always inspired me. As I approach the beginning of the midway point to the 2nd decade of my adult life (35), I’ve realized I’ve spent the majority of it living in areas that are concrete jungles. The last five of those years spent living in downtown Los Angeles, a fact that raises the eyebrows of my native Angeleno friends. “Why would you want to live there?” is a common question after telling them my affinity for DTLA. “Why wouldn’t I?” is always my sarcastic reply. I live downtown because it fuels me. It helps me, define me. My concrete rose grows here. Recently I was thinking on where this preference originated from. In my search for the answer, I had to start at a place where I found an early identity and taste for all things metropolitan, Benson Polytechnic High School in Portland, Oregon.
I was in love with you, didn’t know what it was with you
Kiss you in back of the class just to get a buzz with you
-Kendrick Lamar
No Child Left Behind
A high school that is polytechnic is one that focuses on teaching its students technical trades. Students are guided down distinct skill paths, ensuring that by time of graduation, they have employable skills. Benson Polytechnic High School has curriculum on computer science, construction, health sciences, digital media, radio broadcasting and even aviation as well as many other real world tangible trade skills that aim to set it’s graduates up for real world success outside the class room. Growing up I was captivated by two things: airplanes and computers. On top of that I ran track, and Benson is one of few schools in Oregon with a heavily credentialed history of dominating the sport and winning state Track & Field titles. So by 6th grade I knew I wanted to go to Benson and no one or anything could’ve stopped me, or so I thought at the time.
Fast forward two years to the fall of ‘05 something had stopped me. Three months into my freshman year of high school I was on a path towards either flunking or dropping out. From September to December of that year, my grades slowly eroded & chipped away to to C’s and D’s and eventually F’s. I was unmotivated, unengaged, and pretty lifeless when it came to my educational pursuits at the time.
I dreaded waking up every day to go to David Douglas High School, one of Oregon’s largest & highest-enrollment high schools ten miles southeast of downtown Portland. David Douglas wasn’t in the plans for me back in 6th grade, but neither was my Dad losing a home, along with most of my possessions in it, in North Portland during 7th grade. Resulting in me having to move in with my Mom on the southeast side of the city.
Between that drastic change and the two-hour bus ride now required of me everyday to and from, it was hard for me to arrive to school on time let alone keep up. By 8th grade the situation had deteriorated even more. The final blow came in the form of receiving news that my lottery application to attend Benson was denied a few months before my 8th grade graduation. I was devastated. During that 24-month period, I truly felt like I had lost it all, and the thought of losing all my friends in a couple short months with them going to Benson and me going to David Douglas, brought out an emotional numbness in my adolescent self. So by no surprise, I was jaded beyond comprehension and fully checked out that fall when I started my freshman year at David Douglas.
I got relief from my daily mandatory after school detention bids from showing up late to class so much when school let out for winter break. Seeing my dread day in and day out, my mom took this as an opportunity to go up to Benson and plead about letting me transfer in a last ditch effort. Long story short, It worked, but for a reason I hadn’t heard of at the time. Recent changes from the Bush Administration introducing a new education law called No Child Left Behind Act meant Benson had to make exceptions to it’s lottery application process given good enough reason. A loophole that my mom fully exploited that day by telling the school administrators my story. So in the final hours, my concrete rose that was wilting and dying got a lifeline facilitated by the NCLB act. I was no longer going to be left behind due to it. I still remember that jolt of energy I felt when I was told I would be allowed to transfer in to Benson after winter break.
My first day I walked up Benson’s front steps playing “We Can Make It Better” by Kanye West from my iPod. As soon as I passed through the front doors I was welcomed by a warm sense of comfort that lasted throughout the three-and-a-half years I was there. When the last bell rung on that first day I stepped back out the front doors and stood on top the front steps on a cold January afternoon. In the distance I could see the downtown Portland skyline. I knew this is where I belonged both consciously and subconsciously. Within a year my grades had reversed to the point where I was getting straight A’s. And Even though Benson was a one hour commute from where I lived, I was never late, I joined the track team and eventually became the team captain. Throughout my time at Benson I met people and learned skills that are still relevant in my life to this very day.
That skyline represented more than just tall buildings to me, it represented me finding a place where I was supposed to be. At Benson I found mentors and an system that set me on the right path. And with that, looking back, my appreciation for downtown, urban areas was birthed. When I left Portland ten years ago, I had spent the last five living in downtown just a mile or two from where it all started at Benson.
In City of Angels, I talked about how important it is to be able to change environments for the betterment of self. My story of getting to Benson reminds me that for some people underachievement is not just the results of not wanting do good for oneself. It’s usually more nuanced than that. Acknowledging and living through that experience helped me foster empathy for those less fortunate, for ones who didn’t have a mom that kept fighting and for those not lucky enough to get a timely saving grace, like I did with the No Child Left Behind Act.
My baby boo, you either heal niggas or you kill niggas
Both is true, it take some tough skin just to deal with you
Logical, explanation don’t exist, flippin’ pages
Chapter after chapter
-Kendrick Lamar
Concrete Dreams
In his famous poem A Dream Deferred, Langston Hughes asks an existential question about what happens to a dream that never gets actualized. He continues by posing a series of questions, comparing a decaying dream to that of decomposing flesh. Through the use of powerful metaphor, the poem is a examination of what happens when the hope for a better tomorrow cracks and ultimately crumbles away. The best dreams are foundational and solid like concrete. But when such a desire can’t be expressed in a lifetime, what happens to the person who holds it?
Many times in my life I’ve had to dwell with a deferred dream. As I’ve matured I’ve realized it’s a part of life, much like adversity. Even dreams that eventually get accomplished are deferred for a period of time. What this means is that we should accept the fact that the journey, no matter where we are on it, is the state to find comfort in. Because it’s where most of our time will be spent. Thinking back to my mindset during that fall at David Douglas makes me feel ominous. For the only time in my life I can say that I had given up. I’m grateful for everything that I achieved since then and the growth in my mindset over the years. But on one hand, I feel guilty for quitting on myself, overtime I’ve learned to give grace to the young and naïve version of me. On the other hand, I feel bittersweet, appreciative of how far I’ve came, yet I think on what would’ve happened had I not been able to turn things around, and about how many others weren’t as privileged to have a system in place to facilitate their change and foster growth in their rose.
A wise man once told me that there’ll come a time in life when the only dreams you’ll desire, are dreams related to improving your health, fostering solid relationships, and creating wealth. Reflecting on everything that’s happened over the past year, I realize that statement gets more true for me year over year. I see how doubling down on my fitness goals this year resulted in me achieving a long held dream of reaching 200 pounds all while maintaining a low body-fat percentage. I see how reinvesting in old relationships that were in need of TLC led to their improvement, and how building acceptance towards the ending of old ones that had ran their course opened up a sense of freedom. And I see how planting seeds over the years, no matter how small, in the form of making delayed-gratification investment decisions have assisted in bringing forth significant progress towards my financial goals. On top of that I traveled to new places, learned new things, and made new friends. Holistically, 2025 was a good year.
Earlier I mentioned that one common experience that ties us all together is adversity. I’m sure you can look back on your life and think of a time where you went through a tough situation similar to what I experienced during my early teenage years. We may not have went through the exact same thing, but because we’re human, we’ve felt the same emotions. Remember that, and use that like I plan to do to foster more empathy in the new year.
On the eve of 2026, my plans for next year first and foremost are to continue on my journey of actualizing my dreams, making them more concrete. While doing so, I’m reminding myself that it’s okay to not have it all figured out, it’s okay to make mistakes, and it’s even more okay and necessary to continue to dream of a better tomorrow. That is what I wish for me and that is what I wish for you.
You can build a better future when you join the winning team
If you desire a bright tomorrow, you must build a brighter dream
Maya Angelou
Happy New Year.
