I’m my best when I have a tribe. By that, I mean a group of like-minded individuals with similar goals and aspirations. Like the pistons in a car engine, the group’s movement ensures that none of its members can stray too far out of line, and by that I mean off track from their goals and desires.
Over the years, I’ve realized It’s natural for me to be somewhat of a lone-wolf. I enjoy my alone time, but I also appreciate the positive experiences that can happen within friend groups. What Robert Green refers to as “The Madness of Groups” isn’t all negative. Groupthink can be a double-edge sword, resulting in both positive and negative outcomes—it’s up to you to have the discernment on when to embrace it and when to reject it.
In this lifetime it’s important to not only find your tribe but also to know when it’s time to leave one. Your tribe shouldn’t be this immutable thing that cannot grow and mutate over the years. In fact, to find and cultivate the right tribes, it’s necessary that they do.
There is one crucial problem with tribe finding though. As we get older, finding and keeping a tribe becomes progressively more difficult. Especially as life change—such as career advancement, moving to new cities, getting married, and having kids—come into play. The best way to counteract this is to accept the reality that nothing lasts forever (this is actually a positive thing) and to always follow your interests and passions. If you do that, the universe will handle the rest when it comes to who needs to be in your life at any particular point in time.
Go do something great and your network will instantly emerge.
Naval Ravikant
I agree with Naval. Whenever I fully submitted to that voice in my head pushing me towards my heart’s desire and went confidently down the path I needed to take, a tribe naturally converged around me. Whenever things felt forced, I noticed the relationships lacked authenticity and ultimately fizzled out. I believe in serendipity; I don’t believe natural, long-lasting relationships are built through force. Some of my best friends came into my life by happenstance.
I spent the last few days in Salt Lake City, Utah, at Permissionless 3. I went solo-dolo as I usually like to do when going to conferences. And, unsurprisingly, I met a small group that welcomed me into their tribe—a solid group of individuals who all shared a similar passion that I have for the future of finance: cryptocurrency & blockchain technology. Conversations flowed effortlessly and a sense of familiarity came to life almost instantly. A tribe, once established has the potential to change your life. This change can be either positive or negative depending on the tribe. If you notice that it is negative, you always have the option to leave and find another tribe that suits your needs and better encourages you to become the person that you want to be. When used correctly, naturing the various tribes you build in life, will change your life.
If you’re at a place in your life where you’ve just moved, attending an event by yourself, or maybe even just looking to change or expand your tribe, remember to stay open. Remember that the best tribes are reciprocal—don’t just try to join expecting to get something out of it without ensuring you’re providing similar value in return. Don’t force anything. And in the words of one of my favorite fictional TV characters:
Don’t beg, it’s disgusting
Sully - “Top Boy”
Good luck with your tribe finding.